I am writing this with a heavy heart. I wanted to share with you the news this week for mom. Yesterday morning I received a call from my aunt. She was worried about mom. Wanda called her that morning to ask for help that day, she was in a lot of pain and was struggling.
That would not seem so bad except that my mom has NEVER asked for help for anything. EVER. She always says she is fine and I talk to her almost daily and she always says she is okay. Even the day before she said she was fine. That was obviously not true.So my aunt and sister went over there to help out and my sister called me last night to let me know how she is doing. She is very weak, although mobile still, she is only able to use the restroom and walk about 60 seconds before tiring. She is in excruciating pain and her medication has to be increased, hopefully that will come through later today.
What concerns me most is that she cannot eat hardly at all. She has a desire to eat, but her stomach hurts already, and when she eats, it is downright painful. She can only manage 2-3 bites at the most of anything. This is a sign that the cancer is most likely in her stomach.
I truly feel that we are so close to the edge of time that I am praying that she even makes it through next month. I know that when a person stops eating, or has to, the body is mostly done with the fight.
Next weekend we had planned to take my mom away to Palm Springs to a resort to rest and enjoy some quiet time with family. I am not sure she will make it now. I am praying that God will grant her this one last time with us. She loves so much to spend time with family, and she loves these little trips. I will pray every day that His will for her care will be known.
I have such a heaviness at this time, a worry about her comfort, her care. But I am not sure how to live life and deal with my feelings about her at the same time. I am struggling with wanting to get up there and be there for her and still maintain a semblance of family, school and work here. I see the coming void in my life when she is gone, it fills me with a certain heaviness.
So I write this to you all to let you know that I feel time is short. She is slowly fading and she may be gone soon. We have already had to tremendous blessing of having her here with us for this long that I can only sing praises to God for His gift to us all.
Please join me in thanking our wonderful God for my mom, her life, and her legacy.
Until next time,
Sarah
My heart feels heavy too. Sarah, all I can say is that I am praying for her comfort and peace and that God will also fill you with the comfort and peace you need. XOXO
ReplyDeleteSheri Disney-Colbert
god promises us a place in heaven where there is no pain. i think your mom will welcome the day when she gets her new body and is with jesus.where her days are filled with happiness and light instead of pain and struggle. i will pray for your family and that your moms journey to heaven is close at hand for her. anita
ReplyDeleteOh, Sarah, I hurt for you. I am certain of Gods promises, and know He is in control, but this time of pain and grieving is not easy. I pray for all of you to be in His arms, to know His peace, and have that all encompassing, unexplainable peace of heart and mind. There will come time of no more pain, and it will be a mercy; it's the time in between, that we all live through, that is so hard to understand. We will be keeping you all in our hearts and prayers. Thank you for letting us know how things are.
ReplyDeleteCory
You know, my wonderful friend, how I grieve and yet rejoice with you! You have been an amazing daughter to an amazing mom. And, your amazing God has given you both more time together than you had, when this all started, imagined that there would be. I do pray for all of you to experience His peace in its fullest during this time and for physical comfort for your mom. You both are marvelous examples of faith in action. To God be the glory in all things! Thank you for living in the faith of things unseen for all of us to see! XOXOXO Steph E.
ReplyDeleteEven thought you know this isn't the end for Wanda -she will leave a big physical void in your life until we are all in God's kingdom together. I still feel that void after 7 years. Thanks & praises to God that he has a plan for all of us. Please remember that you are in my prayer - that God will strengthen & comfort you and your family
ReplyDeleteKathy J.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI know the void that you are speaking of and I shall keep you, your Mom and your family in my prayers. May you find peace with your daily life and remember always that God is with you.
Mary B.
Sarah, the beautiful relationship you have with your mom will not be diminished when she is temporarily removed from you. I have learned that distance from one another cannot weaken the bond one has with others but will only make it stronger when we are of one heart. Lack of physical presence of those we love has been a reminder for me that our relationships are meant to be built for eternity and death or distance cannot and will not diminish them. Praying for peace and strength!
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